Last weekend was action packed: Mike, Josh, Nicole and I headed to the legitimately beautiful Oregon coast ("The beach that's simultaneously hot and cold!"), and stayed at the fabulous Chinook Winds Resort and Casino . Sure, we enjoyed the old persons, the smoky carpets, and the I Love Lucy penny slot machines, which inconceivably left me $50 richer thanks the maximum number of lines per bet and an exciting "chocolate eating" mini-game. Heck, Josh even made $70 playing poker!

But don't be fooled — we weren't there to gamble. We were really there for one reason and one reason only: to witness an official I.F.O.C.E. professional-level Rib Eating Competition. Yeah.

Armed with my top-grade video equipment — my trusty Canon Powershot SD450 digital camera set to "Movie" mode — I thought I'd take a crack at documenting the gustatorial goofiness for posterity!

The Amateur Circuit

The kick off on Saturday was the amateur competition. Having finished Operation: Beer, the various local contestants did their best to rib it up. How'd they fare? See for yourself:

The Pro Circuit

The amateur competition couldn't prepare us for the pro circuit on Sunday, and the strange and often stomach-churning things we were about to witness. Notice how shockingly different the pro technique is compared to the amateurs — to begin with, not a single professional sat down, and many of them brought their own liquid of choice.

Who will win? Reigning Champion and eating celebrity Joey Chestnut? Rich "The Locust" LeFevre? Northwest hero Erik "The Red" Denmark? (As an aside, Rich LeFevre's wonderful wife, Carlene, also a competitive eater, is the woman in pink offering words of encouragement to Rich from the front row.)


(Here's the Amateur circuit YouTube mirror, and Pro circuit YouTube mirror.)

Warning: it's all kind-of disgusting. And with that, I'll never eat ribs again.

Special bonus: the flyer for the event had one of the best cases of inappropriate quotes I've ever seen.