Epcot Center at Walt Disney World opened on October 1st 1982. While not quite the "Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow" that Walt originally imagined, Epcot gave the world a beautiful, swoopy-plastic and synthesizer-powered optimistic 80's vision of the future, one that I'm extremely fond of. I love it all. From the beautifully designed circular logos for each land, to the weird wonder of Spaceship Earth (the big geodesic dome), to the just-leaving-the-psychedelic-era bizarreness of Figment and The Dreamfinder, I genuinely wish Epcot could be trapped in some kind of magic space-time continububble and always remain forever in the 80's.

Anyway, on January 2th, 1984, one particular attraction a dubious honor: it was the shortest-lived attraction at the park, removed and totally reworked a little over one year after opening¹.

What was it? The Astuter Computer Revue. It was all about computers. And it featured a song. Oh, did it.

Epcot Computer Song.mp3 (3.40 MB)

Written by Disney's venerable and talented Sherman Brothers (Mary Poppins, It's A Small World), and long since out of print, The Computer Song, in the opinion of someone who loves all things Imagineering, isn't their best work. OK, it basically sucks Walt Disney Balls®. Even in an awesome 1983 frame of mind, it seems... odd. "Hey guys, how should we teach the world about the potential power of computers?" "I know! I know! An zany old-timey vaudeville-style song sung by a faux-British gentleman and a computer that sounds like it has awful cyber-indigestion!"

But beyond being cheesy, it's also fun to realize how even the most imaginative people on earth couldn't (understandably) imagine what computers would eventually do in our lives. Number crunchin', memory storin' — hooray computers! It's perfectly ironic that a song designed to be kind-of ironic by sounding quaint while being about something completely non-quaint turned out to ultimately be entirely quaint.

Still, it's an awesome piece of history. Or terrible. So, enjoy! Or probably don't.

As a once-huge Rare fan — heck, I even once tracked down "X The Ball" at a local arcade — I, like presumably many others, have found my Rarethusiasm cooled in recent years, for a variety of reasons. That said, I was excited, notably nervously excited, to hear that Rare just announced a new Banjo-Kazooie game for the Xbox 360. I'm not ashamed to say this: I loved Banjo Kazooie.

It should be noted, though, that incorrectly spelling the name of the game on Xbox Live Marketplace is not a super-confidence-boosting start.


Heh heh. I know, it's not their fault. I tried to think of a hilarious joke here. Maybe, like, "I guess $375 million doesn't buy you a spell checker", but, well, "kazooie" wouldn't be in a spell checker. Terrible. Then I thought of this great one: "Maybe they should have STOPPED 'n' SWAPPED those letters", but only the saddest Rare fringe would get that one. So, I'll just say this: make me proud, Rare. Make this one really good.

And yes, you're right: it's a blog post about a spelling error. It's all downhill from here, people. I promise I'll post some bad music next! And it won't even be about video games!

Panic gets phone calls, and thus we get voicemail. Usually they are "what is Panic and why did I buy it?". However, this new one is different. It was a call from the middle east (seriously). And it goes in the "best of" folder. Enjoy.

Panic Voicemail.mp3 (693 KB)

And yet, against all calculable odds, not a single "for me to poop on!".

What a week for things! Today, the Nintendo Wii details were finally announced, after much anticipation, and the system looks more awesome and amazing than even I had hoped. For posterity, I thought I'd gather up all of today's exciting Nintendo Wii news in one place, in super compressed bullet point form. I'm sure you've read all of this already, but hey, here it is, a day that will live in hotness!

• November 19th - Very slightly after Sony's theoretical launch


• $250 bucks - Given that I just bought a TiVo for $800, it's like they're giving me money


• 25 games at launch - Some of which I'll probably actually buy.


• Wii Sports Packed-In - Which is awesome, even though all pack-in games are doomed to forever Wise From Your Gwave


• "Nunchuk" Controller Included - Extra 'chucks are $19, remotes are $40, and the Classic Controller is $15


• Zelda at Launch - Do I need to say anything else? Widescreen to boot. Instant get!


• 4 million planned to ship - Versus Sony's estimated 2.6 million. (Personally, I doubt they'll ship 1 million.) Will be an interesting holiday...


• Mario in 2007 - Razzle frazzle. Be patient, Sasser.


• 30 Virtual Console Games - At $5 to $10 each, with ten or so added each month. Hot companies on board!


• Innovative "Wii Channel" Menu System - You've got to see this. Using a TV guide-like metaphor that theoretically anyone can understand. Includes Photos. Weather. News. Sirs and madams, this is fascinating stuff. Watch these movies, many pages! Read more at IGN!


• Opera Browser Included - Free download. Supports Flash! But only free until June 2007? See it in motion here.


• Mii Channel Customizable Avatars - Another very interesting idea for a highly customizable, but still cute, online identity


• Region Free - By default. Guaranteed with first party titles. Strongly encouraged for all. This is huge news. MPAA, are you seeing this?


• Metroid Prime with PC-like "Expert Mode" - Very exciting. You must read this IGN article about it.


• Wario Ware Wii - Makes me tear up with joy to look at these screenshots.


• Big Brain Academy Wii - A welcome, but obvious, surprise. See a video

Finally, a little photo gallery of the final hardware, to whet your virtual whistle, or "V-WHISTLE":

So, did I miss anything good? What do you guys think about today's news? Good? Bad? And are you as excited as I am?

What a month for things! Rhythm Tengoku came out and is amazingly fun. The Sony Ericsson k790a arrived last week, and it is really the phone of the current-future, review coming eventually. And Apple introduces all kinds of interesting iPod stuff (that Shuffle is blowing my mind).

Also today? The TiVo Series 3 HD DVR was released! Combining the already-killer TiVo experience with high-definition HDMI out and dual HDTV CableCARD recording (!), etc. etc. etc., it looks to be the end-all-be-all of DVR's. For now. The only downside?

It's $800 smackers.

Granted, you're getting a heck of a lot of technology for $800, and for early-adopter zombies like myself with credit cards it's a total no-brainer. But it's still $800 in the real world. Well, there's a bit more to the story that you may or may not find interesting, thanks to Best Buy. (Why does this stuff happen to me?)

The Message

So, I asked a Best Buy Guy last night about the Series 3, and he walked me over to their computer terminal, had trouble finding it, and did some kind of search on an internal message board (the screen was titled "RZONE"). Finally, he pulled up and read to me an internal message posted about two weeks ago, when an employee first noticed the Series 3 in the system.

The message (quickly committed by me to a voice memo, thanks k790a!) went almost exactly something like this:

"Did anybody else notice that the TiVo Series 3 popped up in the system? The retail is $800, and the cost is a little over $500... that makes for pretty good attachment!"

Of course, one can only imagine how accurate this information is — maybe Best Buy just does this stuff just to mess with me (HAY GUYS I SAW A SECRET SCREEN THERE IS AN EXCLUSIVE GARFIELD XBOX 360 COMIN OUT WITH HOLOGRAPHIC LASANGEA CAN U BLEIVE). Maybe this guy knows nothin'. But hey, we got nothin' better to go on, so let's talk!

1. If the cost is really "a little over $500", that's seems like good news for those experiencing sticker shock. I don't know a lot about retail, but it seems like that's $300 of wiggle room for future discounts or slashed prices. While I'm sure the Series 3's will stay at $800 for a few months, as us early adopters cry into our CableCARDS, at least we now know that there is lots of room for a price drop.

2. Second, to get retail nerdy: "good attachment"? Please, Best Buy employees, correct me if I'm wrong here (if you can legally do so), but "attachment" generally refers to the amount of profit made adding bonus items to a customer's sale. For every camera sold there are batteries, lenses, etc. to upsell. For every computer there are power strips, keyboards, etc. So, I guess this guy is saying, for every high-definition television sold, there is a potential $300 in "attachment" profit in selling that same customer a TiVo Series 3. (And attachment might equal employee bonus?)

How To Buy

Anyway, for those of you who can blissfully ignore little things like cost in the name of all hot new things, today's your day to buy a TiVo Series 3 now. HDTV awesomeness here we come!